


Shattered

by donsboy



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hurt/No Comfort, M/M, Neglecting one's partner, Realizations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 18:17:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18922471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donsboy/pseuds/donsboy
Summary: All things come to those who wait!





	Shattered

Hutch lay in bed, waiting for sleep to claim him. It had been another long week and he was glad he had the next three days off. His plan was to sleep as much as he could, and do as little as possible. Not that he had much to do these days since Starsky had started dating Karen Adams. Ever since that happened, Starsky seemed to spend every waking moment with Karen. Hutch was glad that his best friend had found happiness, but if he were to be completely honest, it hurt that Starsky hadn't found it with him. He didn't know exactly when, or how it happened, but he had fallen in love with his best friend. The truly ironic part was the fact that Hutch had been planning to tell Starsk right about the time Karen and his partner had met. When Starsky introduced Karen to Hutch, he knew instinctively that she didn't like him. He didn't like her either, but he never let on to Starsky. In true Hutchinson fashion, Hutch withdrew into himself and did his best to keep a lid on his true feelings when he was around Starsky. Of course it was very easy to do because he and Starsky only saw each other at work. Gone were the days of going to Huggy's for beer and pool, also gone were the nights when Starsky would stay over and sleep on the couch after a particularly bad case, gone too were the days when they would get together and share a meal, all because Karen had entered the picture. Hutch couldn't help but feel jealous and lonely because he truly missed his best friend. As he fell asleep, he whispered Starsky's name.

While Hutch was at home pining for his partner, Starsky was having a great time dancing the night away with Karen. While they were having dinner, Karen mentioned that she wanted to go to the new disco that had opened, and Starsky thought that was a great idea. They stayed until midnight, only because Starsky had other things in mind for Karen that did not involve dancing. They went to her apartment, and once there, Starsky pulled all the stops. He pulled Karen close and as they kissed, he ran his hands all over her body. He felt her tremble against him and knew that the time was just right. He led her to the bedroom and softly slipped her dress over her head. He marveled at the swell of her breast and the perfect roundness of her ass. He quickly undressed and eased Karen backward onto the bed. He lifted her legs, placing them on his shoulders, and gently slid his erection into her sheath. Once a rhythm was established, the two began to move as one and finished with a climax that had both deliciously satisfied. The next morning, round two got underway, and it was nearly noon when the two finally got out of bed. They had lunch and did some shopping, enjoying each other's company the whole time. As everyone knows, all good things must come to an end, and late Sunday afternoon, Starsky left Karen's place to go home so he could get prepared for work on Monday morning.

When Starsky walked into the squad room, he saw that Hutch was at his desk studying some case files. He spoke a greeting to Hutch and asked what he was working on. Hutch replied that he was trying to find a connection between a rash of burglaries that had been committed in the past few months to the case they were currently working. Starsky took some of the files from Hutch and started going through them, trying to get up to speed. While they were out cruising their beat, Starsky asked Hutch what he had done while he was off. Hutch said he slept a lot and did as little as possible. Not that he really wanted to hear it, but Hutch inquired about Starsky's time off. Starsk talked about going to the new disco and how much fun he and Karen had. Hutch eventually tuned him out because hearing about how happy Starsky was with Karen just ripped at his heart a little more. He felt his facade start to slip and quickly put it back into place. Apparently he wasn't as quick as he thought because when he glanced over at his partner, he found that Starsky was looking at him. Starsky asked; “You okay, buddy?”

“Sure..... I'm fine. Why do you ask?”

“You look like something's bothering you......”

“Nothing in particular......”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, Starsk.... everything's fine.....”

“If you say so, partner.....”

One look told Hutch that Starsky didn't believe him. He was hoping Starsk would just let it go because he was afraid that if Starsky kept on at him he would spill his guts. He sure as hell didn't want that to happen because of the damage it could cause. The guys finished their shift, and as they were getting ready to leave the squad room, Hutch asked Starsky about going to Huggy's for a beer. Starsky begged off, saying that he and Karen had plans. Hutch just shook his head and walked away, leaving a puzzled Starsky in his wake.

Later that night, while Starsky and Karen were having a quiet dinner at home, Karen noticed that something was bothering him. Afterwards, they were on the sofa listening to music when Karen asked; “Dave, is something wrong?”

“What do you mean, sugar?”

“You seem a bit preoccupied. Is everything okay?”

“To tell you the truth, I don't really know.....”

“Does it have something to do with work?”

“No, it's Hutch......”

“Did something happen to him?”

“Not exactly..... he's just acting a bit distant.....”

“Have you tried talking to him about it?”

“Not really....”

“Why not?”

“Because work really isn't the place for a personal discussion, and when I'm not at work, I'm with you....”

“And that's a bad thing?!?”

“No, baby, it's not. I'm just saying I don't have time to really talk with Hutch.”

“Well, as far as I'm concerned, Hutch is a big boy and can take care of himself. I know he's your partner, and your best friend, but I feel like I should come first!”

“Karen, I know you don't like Hutch, but he is important to me, and that's why I think something's wrong..... surely you can understand that, can't you?”

“Dave, why can't you just let it go? If something is wrong, I'm sure Hutch will tell you. Now why don't we call it a night, huh?”

“You go ahead and I'll join you in a few.....”

Karen got up from the sofa and headed to the bedroom. She stopped at the bedroom door, turned and said; “Don't keep me waiting, Dave.....”

 

The next morning, Starsky stopped by Hutch's apartment on the way to work. He used his key and let himself in while calling out for Hutch.....

“Yo, Hutch, you up?”

“Getting dressed.... be with you in a minute.....”

Starsky helped himself to a cup of coffee, and poured one for Hutch. Starsky sat down at the kitchen table, and Hutch appeared. He took the cup of coffee offered to him and sat down across from his partner......

“So what brings you by?”

“I wanted to ask you about yesterday.....”

“I don't follow....”

“Yesterday, I asked if you were okay.....”

“And I said I was because I am..... what makes you think something's wrong?”

“I saw the look on your face right before I asked that, and it didn't look like everything was fine to me. That coupled with the fact that you can't look me in the eye right now.....”

Hutch knew this wasn't going to be easy. He didn't want to be evasive with his partner, but he knew he couldn't tell him the whole truth......

“I've just had stuff on my mind, Starsk.....”

“Like what?”

“I've been wondering why we don't hang out anymore..... is it something I said, or did?”

Starsky looked away, guilt washing over him in waves. He wanted to tell Hutch the truth, but didn't want to hurt his feelings. Karen had a lot to do with him staying away. It seemed that every time he mentioned wanting to do something with Hutch, she would start up about how they saw enough of each other at work, and wanted to know why they needed to spend time after work. Starsky tried to explain how close he and Hutch were, but all that did was start another argument. So to keep the peace, Starsky didn't mention it again......

“You haven't done anything, partner...... this is my fault......”

“How so, Starsk?”

“The thing is, Karen doesn't like you for some reason and when I've mentioned wanting to hang out with you, she gets all pissy about it, and we argue. So I just stopped saying anything about it to keep the peace. I've tried to explain how important you are to me, but it's like anything I say falls on deaf ears. Now you know why I've been neglecting you. Hutch, I'm really sorry.....” Hutch didn't reply to what Starsky said. Instead, he finished gathering his things for work. Starsky asked if he wanted a ride, but Hutch told him he would be taking his own car. Things were a bit strained between the partners for the rest of the day because they were stuck inside doing paperwork, and because of the conversation they'd had earlier that morning.

When it was time to go, Hutch was up and out the door before Starsky realized what was going on. He grabbed his jacket and tried to catch up to his partner, but when he reached the parking garage, Hutch was already gone. He got in the Torino and was thinking about the situation with Hutch. His partner was starting to shut him out, and he didn't like that one bit. Of course he knew why it was happening, but didn't have any idea as to what to do to fix it. He thought maybe he could try to talk to Karen again and see if she would relent and at least let Hutch come by the apartment for dinner sometime. That way, he could maybe spend some time with his partner and keep the peace with Karen. Starsky knew it wasn't the greatest plan, but he felt it was worth a shot. He made up his mind to talk to Karen that evening, and depending on what she said, he would mention it to Hutch the next day.

When Hutch arrived home, he locked the door behind him and headed for the shower. The day had been long, and the shower helped ease some of the tension from his neck and shoulders. When he was finished, he headed for the bedroom and flopped down. As he replayed the conversation he'd had with Starsky that morning, hurt swelled in him. His feelings for Starsky had grown stronger and stronger, and he tried to think of a way to do something about them. He wanted to tell his partner, but knew it probably wouldn't go over so good, especially with Karen in the picture. Hutch hoped that he could find some way to try and deal with everything he was feeling, and still keep up the front that everything was okay.

When Starsky arrived at Karen's apartment, she was putting the finishing touches on dinner. It smelled delicious, and when she brought Starsky his beer, he asked what smelled so good. Karen grinned and said they were having lasagna, salad, and garlic bread for dinner. Starsky felt a pang of guilt because this is what Hutch made for him when they had a day off. Karen told him to go wash up and she would have dinner waiting for him when he was done. While Starsky was in the bathroom, he made up his mind that he was going to talk to Karen about having Hutch over. He was doing it for semi-selfish reasons, but the most important reason was because he felt like Hutch was shutting him out, and he couldn't stand the thought of that happening. He decided he would talk to Karen after dinner.

Later that night, while laying in bed, Starsky mentioned wanting to have Hutch over for dinner one night. Karen sat up and turned on the bedside lamp, then turned to Starsky and asked why.....

“Because I haven't been able to spend time with my best friend outside of work in quite a while.....”

“You know how I feel about him, Dave.....”

“Yeah, I do know..... I 'm hoping that if you took the time to try and get to know Hutch, you'd see that he's really not a bad guy, Karen.....”

“There's more to it than that, isn't there?”

“Well, I would like to go to Huggy's with Hutch and have a beer after work sometime, maybe shoot some pool.....”

“The answer is 'NO”.....

“You aren't even willing to try, Karen?”

“I don't see where I should try because I should come first. I am your woman, he is your work partner! End of story!”

Starsky got out of bed, grabbed his pillow and a blanket, and headed to the living room to sleep on the couch. The next morning, Starsky and Karen were barely speaking to each other the because of the argument the night before. Before she left for work,Karen asked Starsky if he had some vacation time built up. He said he had four weeks built up and wanted to know why. Karen said she thought it would be nice if they could get away for a while. Starsky said that was a great idea, and asked where she wanted to go. She told him that she wasn't sure yet, but wanted him to ask for at least two weeks. She went on to say that she needed to know when he could get his time so she could put in for hers. Starsky told her that he would find out and let her know when he came home. Karen smiled, kissed his cheek and left.

As soon as Starsky got to the precinct, he headed for Captain Dobey's office. He knocked on the door and the gruff voice inside granted him entrance.....

“What is it, Starsky?”

“Cap'n, I wanted to ask about taking some of my vacation time.....”

“How much time do you want?”

“Two weeks.....”

“When do you want it?”

“As soon as possible.....”

Dobey checked his files, and granted Starsky's request stating that as of Monday morning he would be on vacation for two weeks. Before he let Starky leave, he asked about Hutch. Starsky was confused for a moment, and then realized that the Captain was asking if Hutch wanted his vacation time also...... “No, Cap'n.... this is for me and my new lady.....”

“I see.... so Hutch will still be on the duty roster?”

“Yes, sir.... but he won't want to work with anyone else until I get back....”

“I'm aware.... but if something big comes up, I may have to give him a temporary partner....”

“I understand.....”

“Are we done here?”

“Yes, Cap'n......”

“Then get out!”

Starsky left Dobey's office and headed for the coffee pot. He poured a cup and was settling in at his desk when Hutch came into the squad room. “Hey!” Starsky greeted his partner. “Hey yourself..... what are you looking so happy about?”

“As of Monday, I am on vacation for two whole weeks!”

“How did you manage that?”

“Karen mentioned that she wanted to get away for a while, so I asked the Captain since I had the time built up and he approved it.....”

“So where does that leave me?”

“Dobey said you'd be riding a desk, but if something big breaks, he said he would have to assign you a temporary partner.....”

Hutch was not pleased about the whole temporary partner thing, but he knew there was nothing he could do. Changing the subject, Hutch asked where Starsky and Karen were going on their getaway. Starsky replied that Karen hadn't picked a place yet, and Hutch made some suggestions. The conversation was interrupted by Captain Dobey bellowing for the guys to get in his office on the double.....

 

After their meeting with the Captain, the guys hit the streets looking for clues on a suspicious OD. After spending the morning talking to people and trying to get a handle on the guy pushing the bad dope, the pair decided to break for lunch. When they pulled up to the burger joint, the car hop came and took their order. While they were waiting for the food, Starsky asked Hutch what was wrong......

“Nothing really, just hoping that nothing major happens while you're gone....”

“Not looking forward to a temporary partner, huh?”

“Not at all..... you know you are the only one I trust on the streets.....”

“Same here, partner.....”

“Who knows? Maybe I'll get lucky and the criminals of Bay City will take a break.....”

Starsky laughed and asked; “When have we ever gotten that luck, Blintz?”

Just then the food came and the guys ate. When they finished, they headed back to the precinct to bring Captain Dobey up to speed and work on more paperwork. At quitting time, Starsky grabbed his jacket and headed out the door with Hutch not far behind him. When Starsky arrived at Karen's place, she met him at the door with a cold beer and a smile.....

“Hey baby!”

“Hey to you, too.....”

“Did you talk to your Captain today?”

“I sure did..... when I get off shift Friday, I'm yours for two whole weeks!”

“Dave, that's fantastic! I talked to Ginger today and I got two weeks also. All I have to do is tell her when.....”

“Let her know when you go to work tomorrow morning.... do you know where you want to go?”

“I'll leave that up to you..... maybe we could drive up the coast to Long Beach and take in the sights, or go to the beach...... whatever you want.....”

“Dave, that sounds great!”

“Is dinner ready?”

“Sure.....”

“Then let's eat!”

Karen called her boss later that night and asked if she could start her vacation on Monday. Ginger said that would be fine and Karen told her she would see her the next day. After the phone call, Karen went looking for Starsky and found him waiting for her in bed. She giggled when he waggled his eyebrows and turned out the light.

Across town, Hutch was trying to watch TV. He couldn't find anything to hold his interest, so he turned it off. He fixed himself a snack, eating while standing at the kitchen sink. He felt a finger of dread sliver up his spine when he thought about the two weeks Starsky would be gone. He'd much rather ride a desk than have a temporary partner. He knew it really wasn't up to him, but that didn't mean he had to like it. Starsky being gone was the other thing bothering him. The thought of Starksy and Karen together drove Hutch to distraction because he wanted Starsky for himself. He longed for Starsky in a way that he'd never longed for anyone before. He was so tired of keeping up a front, and tired of Starsky not knowing how he really felt. He knew it was just a matter of time before it all came out, and the world he knew would be shattered in pieces on the ground. Hutch sighed and went to bed.

 

The next few day passed with mountains of paperwork, questioning suspects, and everything else that is part and parcel of being a detective. The guys didn't have a chance to slow down and on Friday, they finally caught a break. Starsky was busy watching the clock, and Hutch was busy finishing the last report f the day. He signed off on it and passed it over to Starsky for his signature. Starsky put the report in their 'out' basket, grabbed his jacket and headed for the door. Hutch caught up to him, and asked Starsky when he and Karen were leaving. Starsky replied that they were planning to get an early start the following morning, and that they were headed to Long Beach. Hutch told him to have a good time and walked away quickly. Starsky called after his partner, but Hutch was gone. Starsky made a mental note to try and talk with Hutch when he returned.

 

 

Hutch adjusted to Starsky being gone. Captain Dobey let him work cold cases, hoping a fresh pair of eyes might find something others had missed. Hutch had made some progress on a few of the cases and passed n his findings to the officers who originally investigated the cases. He missed Starsky terribly, and hoped his partner was having a good time. When he was at home in the evenings, he would get his guitar out and play. That only served to make Hutch miss Starsky all the more because there was a time when he and Starsky would play guitar and sing, and he missed that very much. Hutch had also been thinking about why he was so scared of Starsky knowing his secret. There was their partnership to consider, and the after-affects. There was the fact that Starsky might not want to go there with him, there was the fact that they would have to hide their relationship, especially at work. There were other concerns as well, but Hutch chose not to think of those things because his love for his partner was so strong that he felt the love would cancel out some of the more minor things.

The two weeks passed rather quickly, and before Hutch knew it, Starsky and Karen were back from their vacation. When Monday morning rolled around, Starsky swaggered into the squad room smiling ear to ear. Hutch noticed, and asked; “I take it you had a good time.....”

“I sure did! Did ya miss me, Blintz?”

“Not really...... it was actually kinda peaceful while you were gone.....”

“Ha! Ha! Seriously, anything go down while I was gone?”

“Not really.... I spent most of my time helping on cold cases.....”

“That doesn't sound too bad.....”

Before Hutch could say anything more, Captain Dobey bellowed for his two star detectives to come into his office immediately. When Hutch closed the door, Dobey got down to business......

“I wanted to give you fellas a heads-up. Jesse Vaughn is out of jail, and looking to start up where he left off. I want you two to hit the streets and see if you can run this turkey down, or find anyone who knows where he might be trying to operate.....”

“Yes, Sir.....” the guys answered in unison.

“Well,, what are you waiting for? Get moving.....”

The guys left the Captain's office, and headed to Starsky's car to start their day. While they were working their beat, Starsky remembered that he wanted to ask Hutch about the way he'd acted the day Starsky left for his vacation. They grabbed some sandwiches from one of Starsky's favorite delis and went to the park to have lunch......

“Hey, Hutch..... I been wantin' to ask ya about somethin'.....”

“Yeah? What's that, Starsk?”

“The day I left for my vacation, we were talkin' on our way out to the parking garage, and all of a sudden, you took off like a bat out of hell. I called to ya, but ya didn't answer..... how come?”

“I don't remember now.... I'm sorry.....”

“You realize I don't buy that, don't you?”

“You think I'm lying?”

“As a matter of fact, I know you're lying.....”

“Where the hell do you get off calling me a liar? “

“You forget..... I know you, and I know when you're lying.....”

“I'm not having this conversation with you right now, Starsky. If you want to finish this, come by my place after work..... oh, wait... I forgot! You must not keep your precious Karen waiting.....”

Starsky ignored the jab about Karen and said; “Don't worry, buddy boy..... I'll be there.....”

For the rest of their shift, the tension between the partners was so thick you could cut it with a knife. They spoke to each other only when necessary, and other officers could tell that something was wrong between the two men. When it was time to go, Starsky followed Hutch to his apartment. When they got upstairs, Hutch offered Starsky a beer. The two sat drinking in silence when Starsky cleared his throat.....

“So are we going to talk about this, or what?”

Hutch sighed and asked; “Are you sure you wanna hear this, Starsk?”

“Of course I'm sure..... I wouldn't be here if I wasn't concerned..... you know you can tell me anything, partner.....”

Hutch took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts. He could either keep lying to his best friend, or come clean and face the consequences. Hutch chose the latter.....

“Starsk, I don't know when it started, but my feelings have changed toward you. I know you love me as a friend, but I want more. You see, I've fallen in love with you, and all I can think about is what it would be like to be with you, loving you in every way. Us together, bringing a whole new meaning to 'me and thee'......”

 

Starsky was stunned. How the hell could he have missed this? Hutch was in love with him! Disturbing images raced through his mind as he thought about Hutch's confession. He was brought back to reality when he realized that Hutch was reaching up to touch his face. He flinched and stood up from the couch. He looked down at Hutch and said; “I can't do this, Hutch..... I'm sorry.....” He was out the door in a flash, running down the stairs as if the hounds of Hell were on his heels. Hutch heard the Torino peel away from the curb, and that's when his heart shattered into pieces. Starsky had rejected him, and he knew that nothing would ever be the same again......

 

THREE YEARS LATER:

 

When Hutch woke up, he had a funny feeling. He wasn't sure why, but something felt off. He ate breakfast, showered and headed out the door. When he arrived at the San Diego legal clinic where he worked, his assistant, Anita Barkley, told him that it looked like they were going to have a very full day ahead of them. She gave him several files, and he got started, trying to decide which case to start on first. While he was getting up to speed, Anita came in and said that there was a David Starsky in the lobby asking for him. Hutch felt a finger of dread deep in his gut, yet he was curious as to why Starsky was here. He got up from his desk and made his way to the lobby.....

He saw Starsky first, and it was like a punch in the gut. Starsky hadn't changed a bit. While Hutch was watching, Starsky turned and saw Hutch standing there. He smiled and walked toward him, extending his hand saying; “Hey, you.....” Hutch shook Starsky's hand and replied; “Hey yourself.....”

“So how have you been?”

“Fine, you?”

“Pretty good, I guess..... is there some place where we could talk?”

“Not here..... there's a little park across the street. I can meet you there in an hour......”

“Great! I'll see you then.....”

“Hey, Starsk? Grab some food and we'll have an early lunch.....”

Hutch watched as Starsky left the building. To say he was surprised was a HUGE understatement, considering how things were when he left Bay City. He honestly never thought he would see Starsky again, and was curious as to why Starsky chose to get in touch with him after all this time. He supposed all would be answered during lunch. He tried to concentrate on his work, but it was useless. He spoke to Anita, and told her that he was taking the rest of the day off. He grabbed his jacket and headed for the little park to wait for Starsky. While he was waiting, his mind went back to the events that led up now. When Starsky rejected him, Hutch decided that the best thing he could do was leave. He talked to Captain Dobey early the next morning, handed in his resignation, and made arrangements to have his things at the apartment put in storage. He packed his clothes, stopped at the bank, and headed out of town. He kept checking his rear view mirror to make sure that Starsky wasn't following him. When he got to the freeway, he decided to head south, and that's how he ended up in San Diego.

Hutch was startled out of his thoughts when Starsky walked up to the table.....

“You okay there, Hutch?”

“Yeah.... just lost in thought......”

“What about, buddy?”

“Just stuff.....”

“Yeah..... okay.....stuff, huh?”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

Starsky held up his hands as if surrendering..... “Let's just say that whatever you were thinking about must have been pretty serious..... remember, I know you, buddy. I know what you look like when you've got something on your mind.....”

“Okay.... I was wondering how you found me, and why you decided to come see me.....”

“Well, about a year ago I hired a private detective, and when he found you, I debated about coming to see you.....”

“Why was that, Starsk?”

“I was afraid you wouldn't talk to me because of the way I hurt you..... Aw, hell, Hutch, I didn't know what to do..... Karen left because I was so consumed with trying to find you, and I couldn't let it go. I've spent the past year trying to get the nerve up to face you.....”

“Why was it so important for you to 'get the nerve' to face me? Starsk, I thought everything was over. I made made my confession, you walked out on me, I left town. End of story, right?”

“No, that's not the end of the story.....”

“What do you mean?”

“Hutch, the real reason I came to see you is because I was hoping that we could talk, and work this out between us because I want you to come back to Bay City. Hutch, I need you in more ways than I can tell you. I've been thinking about us a lot, and I've come to realize that I was a fool for turning you down. You're the only one that really gets me..... you know me better than I know myself, and I love you....”

“What did you say, Starsk?”

“I said I love you...... as in I'm in love with you, I want you, and I want to be with you. Just you, no one else...”

Hutch was stunned to hear these things from the man who'd broken his heart by rejecting him for wanting the same things. It seemed that it was all too much to hope for, but there was one thing he had to know.....

“Starsky, what brought on this change of heart?”

“When you left, I knew it was because of what I said and did that night. I felt like I needed to apologize, and to make this right. When I finally got my head together and realized that being with you was what I wanted and needed, I had to let you know how I was feeling, and to see if you still wanted me......”

“I have to admit, Starsk, I never stopped wanting you.....”

“Have you been with anyone else since you've been gone?”

“No..... I always wanted you to be my first.....”

“You've waited all this time?”

“I've had a few offers, but I was holding out for what I really wanted.....”

Starsky leaned in at that moment and kissed Hutch. When they broke apart, Hutch was dizzy with want, as was Starsky. The two walked hand in hand to the Torino, and Hutch gave Starsky directions to his apartment so he could pack his clothes. Hutch called his office to tell them he quit while Starsky took the suitcases down to the care. Hutch called his landlady to let her know he was moving, and when Starsky came back upstairs, Hutch leaned in to kiss him and said; “Let's go home, partner.....”

 

THE END


End file.
